He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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