her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
