When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
