i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize