I got chris browned last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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