note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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