Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
