I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
