You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
