areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I am morally bankrupt
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
