roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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