Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
