My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Shitshow foam night was such a success
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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