my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
