She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
