i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
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I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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