This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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