with your own penis?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
