Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
