Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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