The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
