People in love make me want to vomit
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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