Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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