4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
