He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
