he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
