I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
