i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize