i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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