i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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