maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
