this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
