I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
