when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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