im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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