Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
