How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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