Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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