Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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