Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
