I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
