I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize