You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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