That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
