There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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