with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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