I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize