It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
