Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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