So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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