I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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