You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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