The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
