and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
